Askance
by Leslie Emm
Summary: My contribution to 'Another Challenge' set by 2NYwLove on the forum. One shot.


**Askance**

_This is my contribution to 2NYwLove's 'another challenge' on the forum. I got 'Mac's companion', at ground zero/freedom tower and the feeling 'friendly'. It is a small scene that may have occurred during the episode 'Clue', just aired in the UK. Mac talks to Christine at the start of the episode and then she goes to visit him later seeming more together. This is my take on what she did between those scenes._

_Considering the date I start to write this (11/09/13 – GB format), it is my small memorial to all those who lost their lives on September 11th 2001. _

…...

To anyone encountering her, Christine Whitney seemed that day to be a rare oddity in New York. She was a 'wanderer'. Fitting in with her native dress, street wise walk and her accent, she obviously wasn't a tourist. Then again she was wandering aimlessly, with no apparent destination which made her stand out in the rushing crowd of New York natives that were constantly rushing from one place to another with no thought for looking around at their city.

But in fact, Christine knew _exactly_ where she was going, she just wasn't sure she wanted to get there. It seemed mad, even to someone with an open mind as she had, that in need of some advice, some reassurance, what she had decided to do.

Things had come to a head with Mac, very suddenly and very scarily. He was hiding from her, not trusting her and she felt bereft and sad that he couldn't bring himself to tell her what was troubling him without having her prompt him first. On reflection she knew him, she knew how proud and stubborn he was, but it didn't stop the doubts crowding her head and heart. She had meant the words, she _didn't_ know if she could live with it. Or more accurately, if she could _love_ with it. That's what she needed advice on, comfort about, reassurance for.

She stood back and looked up at Freedom Tower, and wondered what the word meant. 'Freedom'. She supposed that in the dictionary it was described as the ability to make choices and decisions without interference or some such definition.

But what was the meaning _here_? Where this tower stood? The freedom to remember the brave souls who lost their lives where she gazed? The freedom of those left behind to honour the lost, remember the sacrifices made and rebuild in their honour? Take the city forward again like a phoenix from the ashes? She didn't know. Maybe it was the freedom to live and trust again.

Walking on she smiled at the guard who stood at the gate to the memorial she walked on, deep in thought. It was getting late and not many people were there at this time of day. Christine found that she could walk unhindered around the footprints of the once iconic buildings, made alive again by the green trees and flowing water. Those that were there talked in hushed and awed tones, in many languages, but all with the same reverence she felt herself. You could feel the mix of emotions that had imprinted themselves forever on this ground.

Christine could still smell the dust cloud that had blighted New York and travelled for miles as the towers fell, she could hear the sobbing of people who were covered in dust, bleeding and limping away with nothing more than their lives. She could feel the shaking bodies she held for days afterwards when she helped the only way she could, feeding the police, fire and rescue workers that went back time and again to attempt more rescues and then to retrieve their colleagues and members of the public from the rubble. Despite being close enough to feel the ground shake and smell the smoke the day the world changed forever, this was the first time she had ever visited the site.

She stood before the footprint of tower one, thinking and contemplating the past, the present and the future.

"Are you all right?" Came a friendly voice.

She had been unaware of anyone standing next to her until they spoke and she smiled sadly to herself. Was she? She didn't know.

"I will be" she sighed "I hope"

"Man trouble?" the voice asked and Christine caught the profile of a woman next to her. She laughed softly.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Kind of" the woman chuckled "It'll work itself out you know"

"I hope so"

"Do you love him?"

"Very much" Christine replied gently "I thought...I thought I may lose him a while ago, and now I fear the same thing, for different reasons"

"Sometimes the person with the highest defence has the most precious thing to protect" the woman replied in a quiet tone "It's not about breaking down the defence, rather than being granted a way in _through_ the defence"

"That's what my problem is" Christine replied "I don't know if I will ever be granted that way through, and the more I try, the higher the walls get"

"Then stop trying"

The words were so faint, so whispered but she heard them clearly enough, she also realised the woman was gone. Wiping away a stray tear Christine looked down at the wall that surrounded the pool with it's rippling water.

Smiling she traced a hand over the inscription there, knowing that the only person who ever could have helped her had. She read the inscription before her, placed there along with many others to remember those who had lost their lives on September 11th 2001.

_Claire Taylor_

"Thank you" she whispered and turned to leave, knowing what she needed to do, instead of trying to climb the ever building walls around Mac's heart, she would wait patiently until he let her through them.

…...

_So in the end I kind of used two of Mac's 'companions', I hope that you enjoyed. Please leave a review :) Please forgive errors in description of the memorial, I have gleaned what I know from the website of the 9/11 memorial and museum, which by the way is fascinating._


End file.
